Random thoughts

[RUBBISH]

All this talk of mental illness is making me ill mentally.
I'm sorry you can't do what you want and that its driving you crazy.

[NoiseWiki]

Fungis is the future

[RUBBISH]

Fungis is the future

Google cooking with koji.

[¾ dead]

As of last Saturday, I've lost two cats in the same year. He was fine one day, then looked sick the next night and was limp and only just breathing the next day. He was dead within 10 minutes of being carried into the vet's office. The vet ran out to the car to tell us before we left. Something about his bladder being blocked. Something about ions, blood potassium, genetics. Basically, his heart gave out. I don't think he was even all of five years old.

(From when he was still a precious, tiny baby)

I am tired of working 3rd shift. I've hated my job for a while now, but it's gone from shitty to shittier, and the holiday season consumer-idiot mobs are bigger and more idiotic than ever. I want so badly to leave this joke of a job, but I'm terrified of losing a steady paycheck, benefits, PTO, etc. when I have no real, immediate--or even hazily discernible--prospects, other than to start over at another job dealing with the same shit under a different company banner, or to revert back into a cockroach and never leave my room again. I'm miserable, anxious and full of rage and resentment all the time I'm there, to the point that it's really out of control and beyond rational sense. I'm just in this constant, irrationally negative mindset in that place. It's blown up in my face so many times. I've hurt, upset, irritated and alienated myself from so many people. I'm just sick of working for manipulative narcissists and psychopaths.

The only positive is that I stay preoccupied enough not to think about the cat. I only cry when I come home, frazzled and defeated, and think of how I'll never hear his voice again (barring a few crummy recordings). I used to compare his voice to the sound of a metal gate creaking open.

[NoiseWiki]

The only positive is that I stay preoccupied enough not to think about the cat. I only cry when I come home, frazzled and defeated, and think of how I'll never hear his voice again (barring a few crummy recordings). I used to compare his voice to the sound of a metal gate creaking open.

Really sorry to hear about the cat and the job. When my dog died several years ago it really tore me up.. still occasionally I'll tear up.

[RUBBISH]

Everything's going smooth...30min til close.
Then a whole lot of slow ass fucks show up.
You dirty bastards...

[RUBBISH]

I wonder why junkies have that superior attitude...

[RUBBISH]

Billie Eilish...she's kinda cute I wanna squeeze her.

[RUBBISH]

Why is it that EVERY fucking veteran that supports the current president likes to talk like they were in special operations...fucking bitch you aint no rainbow ghost laser trooping Rambo ya phoney ass big talking truck mechanic dipshit...'they made all the wires white i dunno why the military did that'...uh yeah of course you don't know but ya sure as hell know everything else don't ya.
'oregon legalized cocaine' no Damn it no they didn't look it up its a law its a matter of public record. Fucking duh...thank you for your...ah...not shitting on the floor you big dummy.

[RUBBISH]

Just because something is popular and sells does NOT make it 'good'.

I shouldn't have say this to noise people but I guess they/we are just regular ol dummy people like the general public.

Why would I think we are somehow different than the general public...