Worst meal you've made for yourself

[zowozon]

also DO NOT eat chocolate cereal after eating Chinese chicken
you will regret it

[RUBBISH]

also DO NOT eat chocolate cereal after eating Chinese chicken
you will regret it

What is Chinese chicken?

[¾ dead]

There have been so many misfires over the years. It's hard to say for certain, but one example that sticks out in my mind was when I had an idea to make "fried bread" by deep-frying bread slices in oil (I was in middle school at the time). I expected something crispy and delicious, but obviously, the bread just acted like a sponge for the oil, soaking up massive amounts of the stuff.

I bit into the bread and felt and tasted all the oil ooze out of the bread and into my mouth. I felt it running down and coating my entire throat. Truly awful. I could not wash the feeling or the taste from the back of my throat for hours. It doesn't help that, in hindsight, I think the oil may have been slightly rancid. I remember the taste very well.

EDIT: I just remembered the time I unwittingly made myself a PB&J sandwich with partially moldy bread. I started eating it, and a few bites in noticed a really sour, tangy flavor. I looked down at the sandwich and part of the crust was dusted with faint greenish/white mold. I started gagging and trying to rinse my mouth out at the kitchen sink, but the moldy bread was caked in my teeth. Every time I tasted it a little when the side of my tongue brushed against my teeth, I'd start gagging again and trying to swish my teeth clean with water. My sister and her boyfriend thought it was just so funny...

Anyway, I always inspect my bread slices now.

[¾ dead]

One time I made hamburger helper with whipped cream because I didnxe2x80x99t have any milk... not as bad as you may think. ;thinking:

Oh my god.

Not really a meal but don't ever drink lemonade and then a glass of milk because it will curdle the milk. Also don't ever eat chocolate and drink white wine.. cause white wine is disgusting.. lol

This reminds me of another incident in grade school. One morning, I was rushing to eat my breakfast before the bus came, and I had the GENIUS idea to combine milk and OJ for a super-efficient breakfast drink. I chugged a whole glass and nearly vomited. Luckily, I didn't actually get sick, but it was fucking heinous.

I was expecting something akin to a Flintstones push-up. hissyfit

[Soloman Tump]

The Pot Noodle company used to make pot mash, flavoured instant potato snacks. Just add hot water.

Except on Day 3 of Reading Festival (when I was 17) I didn't have hot water so I added a really warm can of cider that had been in my tent for 3 days. Stir in, leave in the sun for 20 minutes, voila. Instant skull Ate it all because I was very drunk, not great though!

Saw Atari Teenage Riot soon after. So every cloud rockon It wasn't all bad a festival, and opened my eyes to some amazing other stuff...

[RUBBISH]

My dad would make fried bread in bacon grease...sorry fried pork jowl grease.
Never was hungry enough to want to eat it.


Now if you use bread dough and fry it in nice fresh lard or vegetable oil its pretty good...pour some beans or bean soup over it and man its good.

Shared this topic with a friend and he mentioned that as a kid he made ovaltine with water....not good!


Another dad one.
Once while spending the weekend with my dad at the dump house, a neat big old house in the middle of an old trash dump, he made me koolaid...just a packet of koolaid in water no sugar...Wtf dad this sucks. Thats also around the time he gave me a fork to comb my hair...a fucking fork.

There are other dad cooking stories but I think ive blocked them out cause they were so bad.

I would usually end up doing the cooking.

[RUBBISH]

Squirell from the yard(yes in the middle of the damn city but gun fire was common so nobody cares or noticed) with a can of cream of mushroom soup in a frying pan.
Dads favorite part was sucking the brains out of the skull....fuck.

A squirell is mostly bones and aren't fun to eat unless you like sucking on bones but since they were eating pears and cherries and mulberries from the yard they tasted pretty good but still had that slightly wild taste im not a fan of...I wont be going out my way to eat squirell anytime soon.

[¾ dead]

That is all legitimately fascinating. Like a John Waters/Harmony Korine film come to life. worship

[RUBBISH]

That is all legitimately fascinating. Like a John Waters/Harmony Korine film come to life. worship

The dump house..really dad in general...is totally if john waters made gummo.
Spot on.

Off topic...one of the entertainments dad provided when I spent time with him was burning plastic and letting it drip from the porch 20 feet down to a bucket of water. He called it zilching because that's the sound it would make as it dripped down and then a neat vvvvbfffssshhss sound when it hit the water.

Hope he gets out of prison soon.

[NoiseWiki]

This reminds me of another incident in grade school. One morning, I was rushing to eat my breakfast before the bus came, and I had the GENIUS idea to combine milk and OJ for a super-efficient breakfast drink. I chugged a whole glass and nearly vomited. Luckily, I didn't actually get sick, but it was fucking heinous.

I was expecting something akin to a Flintstones push-up. hissyfit

Lol yea like those ice cream bars that are cream in the middle and orange flavored on the outside... those are great but I guess don't have enough citric acid to curdle the milk.

On the flip side I remember this class mate of mine in college came over to my place and suggested putting an egg in the ramen which i had never heard of and it was great .. i think he was korean.

When i was a kid i liked putting those tiny sweet tarts into a bottle of dr pepper.. sugar over load.